A Traveler's Tale

My friend Macy is obsessed with foreigners. Her love for them could actually be mistaken as exploitation.

Well this weekend she met a guy from Sri Lanka...

I was watching her and this man have a conversation. He didn't speak much English, but this guy could really tell a good story.

Not only could he tell a good story, but he was awesome at making himself look pretty epic in the process...

What was most fascinating to watch was when he would tell stories of epic duels he had taken part of.

With each story Macy's eyes would widen with fascination. Maybe a few heart strings might have been pulled too, a kind of Casanova, if you will.

But really, I am not doing him justice. His back story is pretty amazing...

Which lead me to thinking, there is a whole eastern part of this world that many have yet to come in contact with.

And we think we have all the answers?

Despair

Broken beyond repair. This is the earth.

"For with much wisdom is much sorrow; as knowledge increases, grief increases." - Ecclesiastes 1:18

So much confusion I could do without.

So much pain.

So much controversy.

"Absolute futility, everything is futile."

Lost. Lost. Lost.

But...

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes.
Death will no longer exist;
grief, crying, and pain will exist no longer,
because the previous things have passed away." - Revelation 21:4

"To the one with distant eyes, all this crying has left you dry. Wait the light will come, wait the light will come."

Jolted.

Moments that shake you. When were jolted out of our everyday routine and for five seconds we become aware of what in life is truly important.

God thank you for this day, for it is indeed a gift.

Stir Crazy

"Some how we've gone and lost our way. This is where we are."

Here I am in Arizona. After a 13 hour trip that was more than eventful...exhausting. Our luggage is lost. My sister and I have been sitting around the house for what is now 48 hours.

Netflix has somewhat lost its entertainment value.

The last two days have been more than frustrating... especially when you get 3 ticked off women in a room. The atmosphere isn't exactly uplifting.

On the plus side the house looks great, Christmas decorations up and all.

I have nothing to REALLY complain about. I have what is necessary to live, and that should be enough. But it's not you know... human beings are complicated creatures.

Which leads me to my next thought. My frustrations, I have been taking them out on God.

Why is that I do that? I really haven't been able to bring myself to pray the past week. It's hard when He feels so far away.

On the plus side I got a 4.0 this semester. That rocks right? It really was by no doing of my own.

Purely mercy and grace.

As for next semester I have no idea what's going on. I know I am not taking any classes. I know I need a full time job to get me though April, then maybe I can take off to Peru. That would be great.

I guess this is where it's like "Ok God, direct me, even though I really don't want to even think about direction right now..."

I mean it's kind of Biblical to live for today, now. to Be Present. So I guess it's not such a bad thing.

Well I guess we shall see how it goes!

Here's to adventure, cheers!

LOVE

I know we can't define it. But we know what it looks like. Can't we show our love?

If you love Jesus, you should show others you love Him by loving everyone.

Frustrated. Sin. Destructs. I am frustrated that sin destructs our most important relationships.

That we allow sin in and allow it to take over our actions... take away our love.



Every person is alive on this earth once. That means we have ONE, hopefully long term chance to show everyone that they are loved. Not only by us, but by their Creator.

We need to serve, serve love.

Defend, hug, hold, lift up, support, sympathize, understand, forgive, aid, honor, compliment, nurture, thank, admire, talk to, listen to, write a note to, be loyal to, be gentle with, spend time with, laugh with, smile with, cry with, serve... someone...everyone.

"But Jesus called them over and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles dominate them, and the men of high position exercise power over them. 26 It must not be like that among you. On the contrary, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave; 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life—a ransom for many." -Matthew 20: 25-28

Wrestling with God

I've noticed that these past few months have been a constant wrestling match with God.

and today, I have become content with that.

People often think wrestling with God is a sin, but it's not. It's a sign of intimacy, because you can't wrestle with someone who is far away!

The Sting of Death Cuts Deep

The sting of death cuts deep.

However, not nearly as deep as her family will experience.

Tonight a young girl lost her life in a car crash.

It's in moments like this when I go to the Lord in prayer and I can't think of the words to say...

"God please uplift her family, be with them, comfort them, love on them, let them know you're near."

But not even this covers what this family needs at the present moment.

It is now when I reminded that God is God and I don't have to instruct Him in what to do.

He knows precisely what to do. He knows everything that needs to be done and He is doing it.

It is now when I am reminded of what is important. Not the two hour infuriating meeting I just sat through at work, but every single moment spent with the people I love. Every laugh, every tear, every conversation.

It is now that I remember what is most important, letting the world know that Jesus loves them. That He has conquered death. That He has promised to be with us. That He promises us healing. He promises us Heaven. He promises us unconditional love. He does not condemn, He simply loves everyone. His arms are open wide and He is ready to accept anyone and everyone.

We need to take every moment and live it. Take it in. Realize the beauty of life. We are here for a short time. We have a purpose, to let His light shine. Let us bring it to the masses. Change lives. Revive souls.

Lord, it is solely in you that I find strength.

You, Oh Lord, are eternal.

A Mud Puddle

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I have a plan in mind.
His is different!

Isn't that how it always happens?

The sad thing is I know His plan is 100 times better than anything I could ever come up with.

I heard a story recently it goes something like this. " My son loves sand and the water so we were going to take him to the beach. As we are walking towards the hill that the ocean would be over, my son begins playing in a muddle puddle. We tried reasoning with him, explaining what was on the other side of the hill, but he insisted on playing in this puddle."

So that's a really dulled down version. But isn't it the truth? Instead of investigating God's plan for us, which is far bigger than we could ever imagine(the ocean), we would rather go forth with our own (the mud puddle).

I don't want to be stuck in this mud puddle. My purpose is to serve Him. He can guide my life.

I Serve a God Who Knows

It's good to know I serve a God who knows what it is like to carry the weightiness of this world.

And that He loves me. But not just me, He loves everyone.

He has given me freedom and a shoulder to lean on and I am thankful for that.

Fail. I forgot to blog yesterday!

I saw this woman in Chipotle today who I believe was trying to steal my wallet. She was wearing this extremely thick and long winter jacket and a blue.and white crocheted beanie. She was looking at the art on the wall and when I walked back to my table from getting a drink she was taken back by my presence. She smiled, she was missing a few teeth but it was a pleasant smile. She was a mysterious woman. I would like to know her story.

Fail.

So I failed to blog a consistent 40 days.

BUT I mean I'm blogging right now right?

To be fair I was in North Carolina, unable to get to the computer...

Rambling...

I'm learning how to play guitar, let's just say music is not one of my gifts.

I'm also realizing that I am a Jack of many trades, which makes it hard to focus on one thing and become really good at it. In other words I'm good at many things but great at nothing... fail.

I "committed" to eating treats ( chocolate, ice cream, cookies...)only 4 times a week. This may seem like a lot but for someone with the worlds largest sweet tooth it's quite the reduction. I'm also only going to eat out only twice a week. Ugh, I love Chipotle.

I also realized how much importance we put on money theses days. I was inserting my debit card into the gas pump and it dawned on me " this card makes life go round." I really don't like the idea of that. I mean you put it through a shredder and it is destroyed in five seconds. You light a bank vault on fire and POOF it's as if those millions of dollars never existed...

If money is your only goal, I strongly suggest you find a new one...

Tomorrow is going to be a loooong day.

Yearning

I want so much to be a part of what God is doing abroad.

Sometimes doing this everyday "American" life is so hard for me although I know I am used to it and although I know it will probably be difficult to do without.

Still my heart yearns for more. For something greater, for something more adventurous. I want to see God's miracles. I want to see His face. I want to completely, without any doubt experience Him.

I want to be rocked to the core by Grace, and I want His love to bring chills to my spine, I want sit without there being anything to notify me of His presence and know that He is there.

I want to be consumed, no more competition for my attention.

I want to fully immersed in Jesus.

I want to be head over heels in love.

Love

It's so amazing to know in this world where nothing is right there is one who IS. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by the amount of destruction taking place in the world, but there is one who is STRONGER and he WILL come. He loves us with a love unfathomable. A love we will not receive from someone here on earth. A love that is literally out of this world. One with no faults, no heartache, no struggle. A love that has always been, is, and always will be. He gives us the PERFECT love that we search for. He loves ALL. Literally, EVERYONE, no matter their ethnicity, no matter their religion, no matter their sexual preference, no matter their heart. HE IS LOVE. He wants our love. Every ounce of us, enthralled with Him. He asks for our lives so that we may show HIS love. Because He loves He has given us Grace.

No matter our mess up, He forgives. He is FORGIVNESS. PERFECT forgiveness. Not one which holds on to our wrongdoings but allows them to slip through his Hands, so that He may love use more. Jesus promises to TAKE AWAY our pain. He gives us NEW LIFE. Because of Him we are able to press the redo button. He is NEW LIFE.We are a CLEAN heart through Him. WE ARE NEW. A NEW PERSON. A LOVED PEOPLE. He will walk with us through FIRE. He will fight EVERY BATTLE for us. He will CALM our raging seas. WE ARE NOT ALONE. Ever. Nothing is IMPOSSIBLE for Him and through Him. If God is FOR US, who can be against us? He is HEALER. He is Guardian. He is Love. He is Savior. He is ALL we need.

He is JESUS CHRIST.

Wilson Ramos

Wilson Ramos, catcher for the Washington Nationals was abducted in Venezuela earlier this week.

Which leads me to think who IS safe in this world? If a 24 year old major league baseball player can be abducted, what hope is there for the rest of us?

Why is everything so crazy!?

Ahhhhhhhh!

We should pray him.

Consistency

It's been a while since I have posted...

But lately I have been faced with the fact that I extremely dislike commitment. I'm not consistent in anything either, except maybe Sunday morning services.

I want to try out this new commitment thing, so I will attempt to blog for 40 days straight, maybe this can get the commitment juices flowing.

Day 1:

I really need to learn how to speak Spanish.

I also got the ok to stay at an Orphanage (3-6 months) in Cusco, Peru today. I really am praying that I am able to go!

How exciting! Did I mention I was not doing my homework to blog? Yeaaaaaaah.

Ooops!

Mind Dump

I am one life, one person rapped up in my own problems.
I am here today and gone tomorrow.
Unless I am impacting other lives my "legacy" will soon die out.
If I could stop focussing on the problems in my own life perhaps God could use me to focus on

helping His people and building up His kingdom.
After all I am not here to accomplish my own purposes but ONLY His.
If I am not changing the lives of others my life will have no lasting impact or value.
If I'm not doing the work of the kingdom, my life will mean nothing.
People will continue to perish without steadfast Kingdom Builders.
People will continue to Perish without the love of Christ.
Everyday is a battle between "the now" and eternity.
I am a clean sheet of paper, waiting to be written on by God.
It is He who I want to write my life story.

Choose Your "Tude".

Today I made the realization that we can let our circumstances affect our attitudes towards life or we can allow God. We need to realize that we have a God who loves us with a unconditional, endless, limitless love.

We also need to realize that He is here working among us, and that He will never leave. We can take these facts and ponder them and let them blow our minds...or we can allow our not so perfect circumstances pull us down and keep us feeling low. Today this realization made for me all the difference.

God is enough and He cares, so reach out and experience Him.

As The Heavens Are Higher Than The Earth...

Isaiah 55:8-9 " For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher then your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts..."

The Prosperity Gospel...a reality check.

Wednesday Mind Dump...Something More.

There has got to be more to life than this...

sitting at red lights, racing to work, talking on cell phones, working, rushing through lunch, mailing packages,grocery shopping?

Let me take this time to say that I think America can best be represented by rush hour traffic. It's chaos. People swerving. People honking. People yelling and using sign language. People at a stand still. People rubber necking, bottle necking, and any other type of necking. Police lights. Broken down cars on the shoulder of the highway. People rocking out to the sound of their own voices and their steering wheel drum solos, cause there is nothing better to do. It's a mess. It's hectic. It's wrong.

And as Americans we are a mess. That's why i say there has to be more to life than this...

There are currently one million people living in abject poverty.

Over 27 million are enslaved. Thousands of those enslaved are being sex trafficked...

Populations around the world being wiped off the map by AIDS.

Children by the thousands dropping out of school, and even more never seeing a classroom.


All this oppression going on under our noses and what do we do? ... we work 40+ hours a week so we are able to afford the finer things in life. Now I do realize this is not everyone situation, but I do know it is for a lot of people. Can we please just take a second to save a life. Or at least just give to those less fortunate then ourselves.

The "American" way of living is a choice, a choice I'm not willing to make.

Your Will Not Mine

Yesterday I realized how long it has been since I actually wanted to do God's will, not mine. I guess somewhere in the chaos I lost sight of why I am here. I'm not here for my job, my internship, or my relationships. I'm here to glorify God. To fulfill his plans for me on this earth so that through me he will be glorified. It's almost relieving when you realize that the checklist you had written is only a mere glimpse of what God actually wants to and could do in your life. I just have to let him, give him space to be God. Godspace.

Making Everything New

When I look at the world I am discouraged. I see pain, anguish, sadness. We live here in this world of nothingness. Even when I want to help, the numbers are so large, I feel helpless.

Ecclesiastes 4:1-3
I saw the tears of the oppressed
and they have no comforter;
power was always on the side of their oppressors
and they have no comforter.
And I declared that the dead,
who had already died,
are happier than the living,
who are still alive.
But better than both
is he who has not yet been,
who has not seen the evil
that is done under the sun.


Looking at the chaos present in the world only reminds me that this is not home. That perfect bliss still awaits those who are in Christ Jesus.

Revelation 21: 1-5
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying " Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." He who was seated on the throne said " I am making everything new!..."

Fuge Camp Week

Fuge camp was this week. I left Tuesday afternoon right after returning from Honduras. It was an eight hour drive and by the end was completely exhausted. The week went well and from the stories I was hearing God was moving mightily amongst our students. Many gave their lives over to Christ. :) God checked my.motives as well. It was a really hard week for me. I was tired from being on mission before hand and then to be surrounded by people was the last thing I ever wanted. I wanted to sleep for days, to recouperate. That however was impossible. I struggled with being back in the United States. That's always hard. I was frustrated, I wanted to rebel. I wanted to be home or FAR away from home. I'm on my way home now, but I have to admit I am really upset with the way I handled the week. I would definitely do differently next time.

Where God leads...Honduras

My feet are clean for the first time in a week. The absence of dirt and mud leaves me feeling desperate to get them dirty again.

I have spent the last week in Yoro, Honduras. The team and I spent our first couple days in the mountains with the Tolupan Indians. It's an absolute beautiful land. Greener than green mountains, an abundance of perfectly placed rivers and streams, complete with chaotic winding roads laden with thousands of rocks, which are sure to take out a few tires and can make the drive up the mountains quite eventful. From first glance the mountains are picture perfect, no one would ever guess the turmoil and distress that exists under the shadows of these green giants.

Here, in these mountains are the villages of the Tolupan. A people group who know oppression and poverty like the back of their hand. These are the people we came to minister to.

The team arrived in Honduras on Saturday. We drove to El Progresso where we experienced our first fender bender of the trip and stayed the night. We left Sunday morning, and drove an insane 5 and a half hours to the mountains. The ride was anything but smooth. We crossed 4+ rivers in trucks which was an experience in itself.

To Be Continued...

Woodchuck...

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Blue Like Jazz

God has finally answered me. This time through a book. Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller.

If someone wanted to know where I was spiritually in my life right now, they would just have to read this book.

My favorite book of all time is Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger. The way Salinger writes is so down to earth, sarcastic, real and anything but phony. Donald Miller is Salinger's identical twin, but maybe better. I thought I would never again find a book that would change my point of view so drastically, but Blue Like Jazz succeeded with a capital S!

"I never liked Jazz music because Jazz music doesn't resolve. But sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself... I used to not like God cause God didn't resolve. But that was before any of this happened." --Donald Miller

I could never put all of my thoughts about this book down. I just suggest everyone read it themselves.

The Prince of Egypt

I am currently watching The Prince of Egypt and reading through scripture along with the movie.

I am astonished by the power of God.

Exodus 3:5 "Do not come closer," He said. "Remove the sandals from your feet for the place you stand is holy ground."

Exodus 3:14 God replied to Moses, " I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: I AM has sent me to you."

Exodus 3:19-20 But I know that the king of Egypt will not let you go unless a mighty hand compels him. So I will stretch out my hand and strike the Egyptians with all my wonders. After that, he will let you go.

God you are explainable.

Thursday Afternoon Mind Dump

-I'm reading "Passion and Purity" by Elisabeth Elliot so far... I hate it. But she and her husband are my role models. You should read their story or watch the movie "End of the Spear." Long story short the Elliot's were missionaries to a native Indian tribe in Ecuador called the Huaoroni. During their work with Huaoroni Jim Elliot and four of his missionary friends were speared by the very people they were trying to bring the gospel to.




- Lipton Diet White Raspberry Iced Tea is on point.
- Shawn McDonald writes good music.
- I go to Honduras in about a week.
- It's Vanessa's birthday!
- I read Daniel Chapter 5 today... pretty crazy stuff.
- I got my entire apartment clean today.
- I did my back tuck yesterday.
- Why does God feel so far away?
- Warm blankets are warm.
- Lord of the Rings is most entertaining.
- Embracing "singleness" is hard.

oh and Drew introduced me to this...

The Karakoram

Currently Reading: Three Cups of Tea, a great read!

"In 1993 a mountaineer named Greg Mortenson drifted into an impoverished village in the Karakoram mountains after a failed attempt to climb K2. Moved by the inhabitants' kindness, he promised to return and build a school. Three Cups of Tea is the story of that promise and its extraordinary outcome. Over the next decade Mortenson built not just one but fifty-five schools--especially for girls-- in the forbidding terrain that gave birth to the Taliban. His story is at once a riveting adventure and a testament to the power of the humanitarian spirit." -Three Cups of Tea

... To Serve Him

My daily devotional says this:

"God does not promise to give us everything we think is good, but he will not withhold what is permanently good. He will give us the means to walk along his paths, but we must do the walking. When we obey him, he will not hold anything back that will help us serve him."

It's amazing how many times a day I think about the things I could receive that would serve me. And how often my mind is completely focused on serving myself and what I need to achieve "success."

The funny part is, I'm nor anyone else is put on this earth to serve themselves. In fact it's the exact opposite we are to deny ourselves and serve God.

Jesus says in Mark 8:34 "If any of you wants to be my follower, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.

I choose to be a follower of Christ, to deny myself so that God may be glorified.

Even though I know 5 seconds from now I know I will once again begin to serve myself, but that's the beauty of God's grace. :)

Eating at the Yates' House!

So recently I moved into a church family's basement. It's like my own little apartment. Kitchen, bathroom, living room, and bedroom complete with closet.

But the best part? Occasionally eating dinner with the family!

Human Sex Trafficking

The reality is this...

1,838 women and children are sold for sex everyday.





What are WE going to do about it?

McDonald's, A laptop, and A homeless guy

I'm writing this blog humbly, not to say look at me but to tell of a lesson from God.

Long story short, lately I have seen this homeless guy walking around Central Park(Fredericksburg) with his dog on a leash and a backpack on his back. This week I have seen him approximately 3.5 times.

Last night I went out to dinner with my mentor. As we were walking out to the parking lot across the street I saw a dog chained to a pole. Finally I wasn't driving or in a rush to get anywhere so I decided I going was to find out how I could help the man. I gathered what I could from my wallet and went to give it to the man.

I walked into the McDonald's and asked if anyone knew who's dog was tied up outside. There appeared to be two homeless-men in the McDonald's at the time but the one who owned the dog raised his hand and snarkly said " Let me guess, you want to pet him." This kind of killed my mood but what completely crushed all feelings of joy was when I saw the laptop he was using in front of him.

I said a few words and gave him what I had gathered. After an exchange of blessings from God I boogied.

Reaching my car in the parking lot I felt completely gipped. What I had expected was not what came to fruition. I thought I had set out to help someone who had absolutely nothing to their name, no money, no family, notta! Seeing that laptop in front of him made me question whether he really needed my help. Could I have better helped the other homeless man sitting across the restaurant? This is when regret came and sang its' song over me, however God's words were not too far behind.

"Who are you to judge?"

Who am i to judge? Who am I to say this laptop wasn't this mans only possession? This could have been someone else's laptop. Just because he owns a laptop doesn't mean he can afford a 1,300$ a month apartment, a car to drive, and food. He could have saved a few bucks to buy this laptop, his only ticket to the outside world.

This is when I realized that this was not a matter of need but was a matter of heart. Was my heart in the right place? Did I have the right mindset? Was my sole purpose in giving this man money to provide for him or to let him know about the One who always will provide? God had called me to give to THIS homeless man, and not to question that calling.

Homeless or not is not for me to judge.

Check your motives Self.

Psalm 62...rocks hard.

Psalm 62
My Soul Waits for God Alone
To the choirmaster: according to Jeduthun. A Psalm of David.

62:1 For God alone my soul waits in silence;
from him comes my salvation.
2 He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.

3 How long will all of you attack a man
to batter him,
like a leaning wall, a tottering fence?
4 They only plan to thrust him down from his high position.
They take pleasure in falsehood.
They bless with their mouths,
but inwardly they curse. Selah

5 For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
6 He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
7 On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

8 Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah

9 Those of low estate are but a breath;
those of high estate are a delusion;
in the balances they go up;
they are together lighter than a breath.
10 Put no trust in extortion;
set no vain hopes on robbery;
if riches increase, set not your heart on them.

11 Once God has spoken;
twice have I heard this:
that power belongs to God,
12 and that to you, O Lord, belongs steadfast love.
For you will render to a man
according to his work.

Exhausted.

This week was insanely chaotic. I worked for six days and three of those six days I was moving into my new "apartment." Today I planned to relax and enjoy doing nothing but I was offered a chance to make some money for my upcoming mission trip to Honduras. After contemplating the offer I remembered how even God rested on the seventh day. Now I know technically Sunday is the first day of the week, but today we will treat it as the seventh, leave the money up to God and rest in His presence.

You Better Laugh

I decided to post these images because these seriously brightened my day. :D

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Thanks sister!

Fear and Doubt.

This morning my Dad, Mom, Sister and I went out for coffee and to discuss the big cross country move we all are about t make, well everyone but myself. I have decided to stay here in Virginia while everyone moves out to the "home land" Arizona. My decision to stay in Virginia should be considered suicide for than a few reasons however, the most intimidating reason is that after my parents leave I will be carless, without wheels! There is a nearby public transportation system but to get anywhere takes approximately 2 hours or more and the transportation system stops transporting an hour before I get off work. With my overwhelming schedule consisting of work, internship, more work, and eventually school, a car seems to be a necessity. This car problem is almost and maybe enough to make me kiss Virginia goodbye altogether! I think it's safe to say "I NEED A CAR!"

Panic and stress set in concerning this situation at least 500 times daily. However, during my times of panic I remember what Jesus assured His followers of time and time again throughout Scripture.

"Don't worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Isn't life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the.sky: They don't sow or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren't you worth more than they?" -Matthew 6:25-26

GOD WILL ALWAYS PROVIDE WHAT I NEED! He knows what I need better than I do. If a car is necessary for this time in my life then a car is what shall be provided!

When I take a step back from all the stress I realize how small I have made my concept of God. Matthew 8:27 says " the men were amazed and asked What kind of man is this? -Even the winds and the sea obey Him!" My God controls the wind and millions of miles of ocean! And I doubt his ability to somehow provide me a car?!

I think so often we place Jesus in this box, a box too small for him. This box is responsible for creating all of our fears and doubts because we believe that outside of our box Jesus is powerless. We need to take God out of our child sized box now! The Creator of the universe and our resurrected Savior do not belonged in a small, medium, or large box. Rather, he demands to be boxless. God works outside of time and space and outside of money and ability. God can do anything! We can do anything through Christ who strengthens us! Even if it means staying 3000 miles away from home without a source of transportation, if it means following His calling.

He has risen and because of this we know He is fully faithful and completely capable!

Shine On, Shine On.

 While I was listening to this song my mind kept running to Matthew 28. The Great Commission. 


After Jesus is resurrected he meets his disciples in Galilee "to the mountain where He had directed them."  There on the mountain Jesus meets with his friends for the first time since his sacrificial death on the cross. The Bible says that "When they saw Him, they worshiped, but some doubted (v.17). 


Stop. Allow me to make note that it is passages such as Matthew 28:17 that I can truly relate to. These are the disciples, Jesus' followers of three years. RESURRECTED JESUS IS STANDING IN FRONT OF THEM... and they doubt? But then again who wouldn't? Jesus was dead and now He is alive!? Hallelujah!  But some doubted. This passage is me. It's almost comical that I have seen God work so many times in my life and I continue to on rough days, doubt his presence, his goodness, and sometimes even  his very existence. But to know that even the disciples, his most unshakable and precious followers doubted him and what they were seeing on several occasions notifies me that I am not alone in my struggles with faith. It's ok to have doubts, because Jesus always delivers. Jesus has always delivered. He delivered us from sin, that was his purpose and He expects me to go out and tell the world.


Next Jesus says, 


"Then Jesus came near and said to them, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. ¹⁹ Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age." 


Although the song "Shine On" isn't necessarily about Matthew 28:18-20, this is the picture I get while listening to the song. Jesus telling his followers to "shine on," to be christ-like examples and in doing this make disciples.  I believe this message not only applies to Jesus' disciples back when but also to us as his disciples now. As followers of Christ, even in our darkest days it is imperative that we "shine" for Christ, that we be Christ-like examples.  We may be the only light some people ever see, the only Bible people ever read, the only "little Christ"  people ever know. Will we remember Christ and the words He spoke to his disciples so that we may go and make disciples of all nations?


" Shine on shine on and let the other see you've got your victory! Will you remember me?"

Sitting in God's Grace

Currently sitting in God's Grace.


Exhausted, discouraged, scared, confused, angry, bitter, skeptical.


It's good to know that no matter how terribly I fail at being a Christ like individual God's grace is always there to cover me. Sometimes I get so disappointed in myself and I can only imagine what God thinks about me.


It's times like these that the meaning of the cross truly hits home. That God knew we couldn't help ourselves, that we would constantly fail. That I would be me, a sinner. That I couldn't help but be human. This is why He sent His only Son.


For God so loved the world He gave His only son, so that whoever believes in Him will not perish but will have everlasting life. -John 3:16


Jesus died so that I may live in eternity with Him. His blood shed on the cross, it covered me so that my sin is not seen by God but is cleansed by the blood of Christ. I am seen as pure and faultless because Jesus took my sin to the cross and died for me and everyone else on earth.


Sometimes its hard being a follower of Christ. Trying to "walk the walk", be a good example, and spread the word. It can be really exhausting. Especially when I feel as if I am the last person in the world who should be spreading such  "Good News". Although I try hard to be a good example, I would say at least 500 times a day I fail at being Christ like. This is where Hillsongs' track "Forever Reign" really speaks to me. "You are good you are good when there is nothing good in me."


It's good to know that even as I fail, I can still succeed because of Christ. When there is no good, when there never was any good Christ died for me and became the only good thing within me. It's relieving to know that there will always be good within me and that it's not because of anything I do but is purely Christ.


Because of Christ I sit in peace tonight.

Just Thinking

Location: Sitting on the floor in the religious section of Borders bookstore.


This section of books, in this store is one of my favorite places to be. It's where I receive inspiration. Books and books written on Jesus. My Savior. I can only hope that one day maybe I will be one of these inspirational writers. While browsing through the plethora of books in front of me one book in particular enters my thoughts. The Bible. The Holy Book, written by the hands of men, but inspired by God. Suddenly, I am convicted. How often do I go to the Bible to find my inspiration? I have read plenty of biblically based books... but have completely failed to read scripture cover to cover. I am able to find inspiration and direction for my life in the Bible, but most of the time it's only after being directed by biblically based books. Then I begin to think of the many individuals who are, will, and have been persecuted for harboring this sacred text. How the Bible is their ONLY resource. The Bible is more than likely the only book the persecuted can discover Christ, His ways, and their purpose. This is the only book that brings them closer to the heart of Christ. These persecuted brothers and sisters don't have millions of "how to" books on Christianity. They have ONE.


Just thinking: Would I be able to walk the walk with the Bible as my only resource? Forgoing all the "how to" books, all things philosophical and apologetic. Would I be able to rely solely on the testimonies written in the Bible? Would the Bible be enough?